by Mysterious Africanah

Ever felt like you were suffocating, but the air around you is perfect, you are drowning, but you are not under water, the sun is shining but you cannot feel it on your skin, you feel cold but the weather is perfectly fine. I have had these moments when I cannot feel the goodness that surrounds me, the magnificence that is nature, a beauty that so often sings to my soul, on some days it seems like I am blind, I cannot see it, I cannot feel it and I cannot touch it. Life sometimes comes at you so quickly your soul loses its child-like wonder and the pressures around you consume you to a point where you feel suffocated and your mind is numbed. It is during this time that I realised the importance of self-care.  I will say it again…the importance of Self Care!!!

As women, we are forever conditioned to be strong, to soldier on through difficulties because ‘the woman is strong, she is resilient, she is a rock’ But even the rocks after a day of bearing the harsh heat of the sun by day and expanding beyond their usual size, get to experience the coolness of the night time and enjoy the beauty of the moon shining on their surface and contracting back to their ‘normal’ size.

You cannot always be strong and take care of everything and everyone around you and forget yourself. Enjoy the coolness of the night time, let the moon shine on your surface and allow it to reflect on your soul. This is metaphoric by the way, do not go outside and search for the moonshine hahaha-the shine is within you!

I view myself as a melanin goddess with an invisible cape, I am a resilient person who takes care of everything and everyone around me. I pride myself in going that extra mile and always being available to all my friends and family at their call. I never had time to myself or even took the time to fall in love with myself, I lost myself in caring for others and I forgot that in order to take care of everyone else I needed to take care of the caregiver.

When I found myself in a state of grey and numbness I discovered the power of self-care. Self-care routines are different for everyone but I think they are ABSOLUTELY ABSOLUTELY necessary! Again, ABSOLUTELY necessary friends. Find out what you enjoy, if it’s your fave tea and curling up with a good book, enjoying a chilled night with your favourite music…Chance the Rapper serenading you maybe? Girl do you! Find out what is it that you love? So many times, we forget ourselves in the midst of life, like do you even know what kind of fruit juice you really like, what flavour ice tea is your fave, what books do you enjoy reading? Do you even enjoy reading? What is your favourite food, what music do you like? Don’t lose yourself girl, find yourself!!!

My self-care routine is now a weekly affair. Every Sunday evening, I love myself. Sunday 6pm starts with a 15-minute yoga session (amateur), just to stretch out and relax my body. I put on some music, make a cup of tea, light my oil burner and candles to set a relaxing environment (trust me on this…you need a calming environment to relax).

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Next, is putting on a face mask, so many really cheap options available (I use the Freemans brand pictured below its only R27,99 in Dischem).

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Next, I paint my nails for the week, I usually like putting different colours that uplift my mood or the outfits I will be wearing for the week, or sometimes whatever colour is in season (girl’s gotta keep up with the trends).

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What is your self love routine? Leave a comment below and let us know.


Published by Ava Tutsi

Ava Tutsi is a Disruptor, Blogger and Advocate.

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  1. Self-care is often God’s way of caring for us. For me, self-care is keeping my house clean because I need an orderly house. Self-care is time out in solitude. And sometimes self-care is a much needed pedicure!


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