Its Valentine’s day soon and the pressure is on to get the right present for your boyfriend, girlfriends, husband or wife (that’s if you haven’t already.)  Getting the perfect gift is not always easy, especially if you have been together for a long time. There are the standard gifts you can go with, for example, chocolates, shoes, cologne or perfume, or a romantic dinner.  Giving a present is more than the actual gift itself, it’s the thought that goes into purchasing the gift, you have to consider what they like, what their favorite color is and the cost.

It’s not an easy task and sometimes no matter how hard you try, you may seem to get it wrong every time because they speak a different love language and in order to get the perfect expression of love you feel for them you have to speak their language.

This month, challenge yourself to give a gift every day from valentines until at least the end of February by addressing the primary love language.  I came across this concept of love languages in the book by Gary Chapman. Gary wrote about how everyone has five love languages, and one of those five has more impact on them than the rest. The term love language refers to the emotional communication preference that everyone uses to connect, feel intimacy and fulfillment.This Valentines in order to get them the perfect gift speak the language that is the most precious to them.

The five love languages are

  • Words of affirmation
  • Act of service
  • Receiving gifts
  • Quality time
  • Touch

Words of affirmation involves to encouraging your partner. You can encourage your partner by telling them how much they mean to you, how much you value them and what you love about them. You can send this in a card, create a shot video for them, or write a Facebook post.

Acts of service are selflessly serving the needs of your partner. The best way to express your love to a person whose love language is acts of serving their interest such as doing the dishes, cooking them a meal and the like.

The love language of reaching gift goes beyond an expensive item or clothing. It’s about the thought behind the gift. If your partner loves chocolate then giving them a box if their favorite chocolate would be ideal, it can even be a gift of letter or card. The price is not the main issue.

Quality time means giving your undivided attention to your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you go to dinner but you on your phone half the time that’s not quality time. Quality time entails putting your phone on silent, keeping it in your pocket and removing all destructions. You could have a private dinner, take a road trip or anything really so long the attention is on them.

Touch is the simplest one to describe of the five love languages. If your partner’s love language is touch it means they feel really supported, comforted, reassured and treasured when you touch them. Touch can be in the form of foot massage, walking in the park while holding hands, or a back rub.

To learn more read the book, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. I highly recommend it and give it a try.

To find out what your partners love language is you can:

  • Listen to what they say and what moments in your relationship really stand out to them.
  • Look at what language they seem to speak to you all the time. For instance, if they are always encouraging you, then it’s highly likely their love language is an affirmation.
  • Ask them what they would like to see happen more.
  • Take the quiz on this the author site here.

Hopefully, this helps to make your Valentine’s day and the rest of February extra special. Take it up as a challenge and for this whole month speak your partner’s love language.


Published by Ava Tutsi

Ava Tutsi is a Disruptor, Blogger and Advocate.

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