I suffered for 14 years of emotional and financial abuse from my ex-partner. We met through walking past each other and both looked back at each other and we started talking. Things at first were good, to begin with. We had our first child together after a couple of years together. My family said from day one that there was something about him they didn’t like but couldn’t put their finger on it.
We ended up getting our own place together, then things changed; he didn’t like me chatting to any men apart from my family members and if I did he thought I was interested in them and was going to cheat on him. He would put me down when we argued saying I was fat and that if I left him nobody would want me. He didn’t like me wearing skirts or dresses in case men looked at me.
The years pasted and we had two more children together. We were struggling for money, all the time the bills were coming in and we didn’t have enough to pay them. I ended up finding out the reason for the money issues was that he had a drinking problem but when I questioned him about it and he denied it. I still stayed with him as I loved him and wanted to make it work for the sake of our three children. We had our fair share of arguments in our relationship but always sorted things out until he gave me a letter saying that we were going to have to go to court as they were going to evict us from out home, at that point I realized he was never going to change his ways because of his drinking problem.
He was choosing alcohol over the roof over our kid’s heads. I told him it was over and that we would never get back together, he didn’t take it well then a couple of days later he came to see the children and without me knowing left a downstairs window open slightly. He went and promised he would sort himself out for the sake of the children, then he waited til the early hours in the morning and broke in the house. When l caught him, he explained he was coming to get more stuff of his from the house. I told him to leave, but when he did he attacked me with a knife in front of my children. I managed to run out the house to get help Luckily a neighbor helped and I was very lucky to be alive, he was arrested and charged.
Myself and my children are traumatized by what he did but I have survived and glad I was strong enough to fight back as it would have been a completely different story. Now me and my children are moving on with our lives and I have found a man who treats me like a princess plus I couldn’t go back to work because of my injuries so now am helping others who are victims of domestic violence and trying to raise as much awareness as possible of signs of abuse as I only realized since this has happened that I was being abused by him and wouldn’t want anybody else going through what I did.

Published by Ava Tutsi

Ava Tutsi is a Disruptor, Blogger and Advocate.

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