Alice was part of the praise and worship team at my church, she was stunning and had the voice of an angel but that is not what attracted me to her. It was her understanding and sympathy. From the day we met, we had a similar background, problems, and visions. We would sit for hours sharing and playing games or going to town shopping together. The more time I spent with her ended up changing how I felt about her.

One day as we were walking in the park I decided to propose her but I ended up receiving a reaction I had not expected, she got angry and walked away from me. I realized I had broken the trust she gave me because she saw me as a brother and friend and not a potential boyfriend. We went for weeks without any conversation, each time I tried to talk to her, she ignored me. Eventually, she even blocked my number.

I loved her and it was a fact so her reaction never moved me or changed how I felt about her, I was so patient with her. After a few weeks, we bumped into other coincidentally and the only words I remember saying were, “Alice I love you and I want to be with you no matter how much you are trying to avoid me. Please, can you feel the same way I feel for you?” After these words, I only remember she was in my arms holding me tightly, I was so excited couldn’t believe it was happening.

We dated for about 2 years, of those the first 4 months were glorious. Love was in the air, we had great times and all things seemed perfect, I was happy and she was happy, we spent much of our time in the park, walking, and playing games as we used to do before. As we played I would carry her around till I was tired, everyone knew about us at church and we were called, “The Lovebirds.” She loved baking and cooking so every weekend we would spend more time at my place cooking and baking together.

From nowhere she started being moody, irritable, sometimes she would just go silent for hours or the whole day even if we are together. We would be in the same house, sitting next to each other but it seemed we were in different worlds. She would act as if she was alone and refuse to even mutter one word to me.

At times, I would politely ask what was wrong but she wouldn’t answer straight instead she would start shouting that I don’t care, or that I am dumb and slow. She would say so many hurtful words but she would not mention reasons.

She would shout in front of my face, walk away from me, slap me on my face; she did it often twice or more a week. As a man, I would not react or slap her back. Once she showed up at my house while I had the boys over and humiliated me in front of the friends by talking about how weak I was and I would not amount to anything. She blamed me for not affording to buy her things that she wanted like chocolates, taking her out to movies and buying her shoes to an extent that she ended up comparing with other men. However, I never held it against her as I felt it was my responsibility and that eventually, I was going to be able to afford to give her all her heart’s desires.

I realized after a year and half of stress and fighting that I was done, I had lost all my confidence, respect, and pride. Instead of being a man I ended up being a young kid because of the way she treated me. I told her it’s over and that I was tired, she tried to apologize but it was unfortunate my heart was hurt and I decided to move on with my life. The amount of damage was affecting my own attitude towards life, the way I worked and my health. Not mentioning much about the job I lost because she shouted at my boss whom she thought I was having an affair wi       

               My message to you is this, “ not all that glitters is gold!”


Published by Ava Tutsi

Ava Tutsi is a Disruptor, Blogger and Advocate.

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